Saint Denys the Fat

Born 831 IE and died 875 IE.

Feast Day: 18th Janvier.

Denys is known throughout what transcripts remain as a little known Saint, his life was hardly worth noting prior to his acceptance of the One Faith in 871, when the Empire itself accepted and clutched the One to their collective bosom. Prior to 871, Denys is often described as a decidedly portly fellow, of wild hair and a veiny red nose. Though he had been a scholar of theology, their is a collective opinion that his family's wealth purchased such a position and ensured that he spent his time surrounded by books, flagons of excellent Imperial wine, and a good many doxies of decidedly low repute. His life was one of excess, one of debauchery, and had his death in 875 IE not occured as it did, his poor heart would likely have exploded at some point soon after. Denys' family were certainly blessed with wealth and good fortune, not to mention a good many highly placed functionaries of the Empire, and so when the Empire converted, Denys' family followed suit and swiftly so. Denys himself somehow managed to find himself accidently ordained as a Priest, his drunken bluster and flowing rhetoric having been mistaken for passion for the One Faith as it stood at the time. With his face so red and veins a bulging, spittle flecked the very floor before him as he was witnessed declaring his love for the One, his desire to see it flourish! And soon after, Denys himself vanished once more into obscurity, drinking himself into oblivion once more and enjoying the fruits of his family's wealth.

It was in the month of Janvier, 874 IE, that Denys found himself roused from his near continuous stupor that had been fuelled by bad wine from low taverns and good wine from the family's cellars, some even claimed that he was pickled all the way through. Yet such was his strength, and indeed the effect of a certain amount of wine, the right amount of wine, that every now and again his bluster flowed beautifully to be heard by whatever audience so desired to listen. Though some audiences were often captive and could not ellude the spittle flecked sermons that flowed from his blubbery lips.

Later in the year of 874 IE, Denys and an equally sozzled companion had something of an epiphany, fuelled by wine, food and doxies, and a certain flaring of tempers when challenged regarding their apparently superficial adherence to the One Faith. It is said that Denys rose from his chair, wedged as he was within it for a time, and the tavern itself thereafter rang with the vicious pounding of fists and the smashing of furniture. Those who so accused him were beaten well, but then so was Denys for his strength barely lasted that first rousing fire of indignation.

Bloodied and beaten, though his accusers were not without their own injuries, Denys decried the words of his accusers and announced a pilgrimage through territory in Galenthia that still proudly worshipped the Many, claiming that his faith would protect him, and indeed he would convert the heathens to the way of the One.

With his battered and equally drunk companion, the two spent the next couple of months organising their expedition, apparently with a good couple of mules set aside to carry their wine. Time did not soften their zeal and indeed as the Janvier of 875 crept in, the two had already crossed deep into many worshipping territory. Each and all fuelled by zeal and ample supplies of wine, they denounced the Many and sought to save the souls of those many worshipping heathens. it is said that their rousing rhetoric and blustery manners won over a few converts, but they were soon set upon by equally zealous Many worshippers.

Dragged behind the horses of the Many worshippers, they were treated to such barbaric treatment, whipped, kicked, beaten, even stabbed and yet even as they stumbled and fell, they both rallied eachother's spirits. It was only as they saw their fate approaching that Denys' companion lost hope and spurned the One Faith, the kindling and logs upon which they would be bound evidently caused Denys' companion to falter and lose hope. Even bound and with the flames carried closer, they found their bodies assailed by stones and slurs, and while Denys' companion wailed for mercy and ached for salvation amongst the Many, Denys was said to have a serene look upon his features. Even as a stone whipped at his temple, sending blood cascading down his face, Denys stared heavenwards and prayed softly, the words of the One tripping past his lips with a certain reverence never before seen.

It is said that even a few of the Many were taken by his adherence to his faith, his refusal to renounce the One even when facing death, but the flames were soon taking a hold of the kindling about their feet. Denys' companion was shot through the heart with an arrow to cease his infernal blubbering and wailing, his change of heart an affront even to the Many worshippers.

Yet Denys continued to pray, his voice rising above the crackling of the flames until he too was consumed by the conflagration. Yet even as the flames licked higher, claiming Denys utterly, it is said that every now and again, they could glimpse the fat drunkard uttering his love of the One, denying the Many, and professing his devotion to the new faith of the Empire. Even in death, his last words were of the One. A few years later, Denys' sacrifice was recognised and he was raised to the pantheon of saints, as Saint Denys the Fat.

And so upon the 18th of Janvier, those few who remember Saint Denys mark his sacrifice with a truly sumptious feast and an ample supply of wine.

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