| All part of the service. |
| Summary: | Stanislaus and his Patrol find something in the canal. |
| Date: | 1874-07-27 |
| Related: | None. |
| NPCs: | Furtwangler, Balty, & Vi. |
| Players: |
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—
"It's a body Commissary Strauss, been there a few days I'd say." 'Thor' intoned with a look of mingled horror and disgust curled upon his weasel like features, it was clear that he didn't much like holding the hook that had latched onto the corpse. Such things tended to burst in the heat, and a hook was a prime cause for such explosive nastiness.
—
"Isn't it jussht!" Strauss replied, fanning himself idly and beaming at the find with a veritable tooth-filled rictus of a grin, "That's a ring on the that finger there, the one that shlightly more ready to pop than the others!" Not that Commissary Strauss moved to aid in such matters, a lifetime of service to one Kingdom or another, and now the Free City State of Four Corners ensured that dragging a ring off of a finger that would likely burst like a ill-cooked sausage, was not under his purview, "Nice one too, a couple of good stones!"
—
Thorwald 'Thor' Furtwangler stared at Strauss, a look of blank annoyance etched across his features, "I'm holding the effin' hook."
—
"And a fine job you're doing too Shherjeant." Strauss' reply was hardly concerned with the steps involved in procuring a fine piece of jewelry from a corpse that had just bobbed to the surface before them. Oh the summer months certainly helped those lost corpses find freedom from the depths of the canals of Four Corners.
—
Furtwangler stared for a moment more, shifted the weight of the billhook from one shoulder to the other and cast his furtive gaze to a couple of the Constables who had up until now, been keeping their distance, "Vi, fer effs sake, and come on Balty, I need your help!" The two Constables shuffled their feet for a moment, and each in turn glanced at eachother and steeled their nerves as they took a joint step forwards towards their Serjeant.
—
Strauss for his part had found a crate to settle his bulk on, leaning back against the wall against which it rested, and kicking out his feet as he took an apple from a pouch upon his belt and proceeded to bite into it with a good hard crunch!
—
The noise startled Furtwangler, believing the body had just made ready to split, and thus jolted, the billhook slipped, the corpse splashed into the water, "Oh effin' perfect!" Furtwangler stumbled backwards, splashed with corpse water, the billhook sinking partially into the canal, only to find itself snagged on some part of the corpse and thus bobbing lightly against the side of the canal, while the corpse itself simply continued to float face down, unconcerned at all with the proceedings, despite a few chiding bubbles that pop to the surface from beneath the corpses submerged features.
—
The slip, the stumble, the splash, it was enough to keep the two Constables from approaching, yet their side business relied on such finds. A good business. A lucrative business. And each Constable moved to help their serjeant up from the floor, regain control of the billhook and dredge that poor unfortunate up onto the side of the canal with a wet squelch of sodden clothing, water-logged cavities, and the delightful effect of the summer heat.
—
"That ring ain't coming off."
—
"Nonshense!"
—
"I'm tellin' you… what the… mind out sir!"
—
Two constables and a serjeant scurried backwards a pace as Strauss simply grabbed his resting pike, never once rising from his crate, angled it appropriately and let the blade fall with a neat little twist. And down through four fingers and the tip of a thumb it sliced, sending them scattering like discarded sausages. Though who on Tirth would discard a sausage? The very thought, "Catch them, that'sh the one with the ring! Come on Furtwangler!"
—
Like herding cats, only if cats were dead lumps of swollen flesh set into motion by the tip of a pike, two constables and a serjeant dived after the rolling fingers, one constable and a serjeant managed to grasp theirs with only minor unease. The other constable having forgot to put on their gloves, proceeded to hunch over the canal, their 'prize' in hand, and vomit profusely.
—
"Good work all!" Strauss' words echoed happily, before being followed by a singular crunch of the apple. The constable, Balty, so reminded of food, vomited again.
—
The three fingers were soon tucked away, the fourth having rolled into the canal with a gentle splash, to sink to the very depths once more. The corpse, so maimed simply lay slumped face down on the side of the canal, looking rather dejected for a corpse now missing four fingers and the tip of a thumb.
—
"A couple of teeth too, the more yellow onesh preferably, you know how it goesh!" Strauss offered up from his position, guiding the three as they set about mutilating the poor corpse further. A few unpleasant noises later, and plenty of wretching from the Sejeant, and the corpse was three yellowed teeth lighter.
—
As if that was the line that should not be crossed, Strauss rose from his position by the wall, chomped a final horse-like bite from the apple and tossed the core into the canal with a plop, "Good work!" He flecked, mulched apple and spit raining out alongside his profuse praise for his three fellow keepers of law and order, purveyors of justice to all. And with a well placed kick, Strauss sent the corpse tumbling back into the canal, before taking a hold of Furtwangler's billhook to push the poor thing back into the depths. A nudge here, a wedge there, a shift to the left, a grunt, and Strauss waited for a few moments before gently dislodging the billhook.
—
No corpse followed.
—
Strauss smiled.
—
The billhook was passed back to 'Thor', and Strauss ambled off along the canal, while the two constables and Serjeant decided who would carry their gruesome burden.
—
Whatever the choice, it wasn't Furtwangler. He was a serjeant after all.
—